You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Randomize
