dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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