he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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