Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She needs sedatives and a leash
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
