I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The ass gains better be worth it
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