u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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