this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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