everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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