Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
