i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
