The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
