You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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