Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
