i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
