You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
