I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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