Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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