well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
