took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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