Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize