So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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