I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
