you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
