Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
