apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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