And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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