The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
