Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
