I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
