no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
