oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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