So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
