remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
