my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
