Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
