you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
