We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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