so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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