the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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