So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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