If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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