apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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