Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
