If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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