You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
