Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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