I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
