So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
