I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
