I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
