Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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