I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
