You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
