would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
sex in a hospital.. check
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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