New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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