I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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