Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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