im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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